I just read my last post here. It was over 2 years ago and just as we were heading into 2020. Man, what promise and optimism I had for the new decade and 2020 in general. It was going to be my year! Who knew that 2.5 months later how the world would change and with it my optimism, at least for a time.

These last 2 years have taught us all a lot about ourselves, our country, and the world. It has been hard. The isolationism that this pandemic has brought to many, myself included, has been something I never thought about before, and something I hope I don’t have to experience again.

If you haven’t guessed, I’m an extrovert and build my energy from being around people. That changed greatly early in the pandemic and continues now to varying degrees today. So, I had to decide, now what?

My Now What, turned out to be a slow process of building resilience. I gave myself and those around me a bit more grace. I found ways to connect when I needed to, but also worked to build internal energy. I heard my grandmother’s words echo in my head “this too shall pass” and “everything happens for a reason.”

I realized that while my 2020, and then my 2021, and now likely my 2022 looked very different than I imagined, they are years in my life that I will look back on with some reverence for the personal growth.

I have always struggled with patience; I have built patience.

I have high expectations for myself and those around me; I have learned to calibrate my expectations based on circumstances.

I love being around people; but I can be alone and be just fine.

To my friends and family that have had a hard time these past 2 years, remember the words of my grandmother quoted above and in the words of my other grandmother, I wish you all Lots of and Luck.

I saw a meme recently that said “If you were born in the 80’s, raised in the 90’s, and make it 2020, you have lived in 4 decades, 2 centuries and 2 millenniums and you’re not even 40.” In less than 12 hours, that will be me! What a time to be alive!

As we come up on a new decade, I have spent some thinking about the past 10 years. At the end of 2009, I was 15 months into being a new CEO, I was in the middle of the largest capital expansion projected ever undertaken by the credit union, and…oh yeah, we were on the heels of the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression!

My team and I were making bold decisions about the future of the credit union during very uncertain times. We knew to succeed in the long-term we needed to take some risk. We needed a main office that was appealing and would help us grow. We needed a modern, functional and secure environment for our team and we needed to invest in the latest technology to serve our members.

I was also days away from turning 27. I like to say, I was a young leader before it was cool. I didn’t have peers my age and the move toward Young Professional development and empowerment wasn’t yet mainstream. The past 10 years has seen and explosion of millennial’s and now Gen-Z in the workforce and leadership positions. These Young Professionals have helped drive change in society and the workplace.

I have been fortunate to Chair the Mountain West Young Credit Union Professionals Committee to help advance and empower Young Professionals in my region. I began working with the World Young Credit Union Professionals and the Global Women’s Leadership Network in 2017, both of which have opened my eyes to diversity, equity and inclusion issues around the world.

Access to credit for women and minority populations around the world remains one of the top barriers to upward mobility and breaking the cycle of poverty. In fact, 56% of all unbanked adults, globally, are women. In the U.S., women make up nearly half the workforce but account for 60% of the nation’s lowest paid workers and nearly 7 in 10 elderly women live in poverty*.  

These are our grandmothers, mothers, aunts, cousins, sisters and friends. We must find the moral courage to right these wrongs for future generations. It is up to all of us, but especially the younger generations to influence policy and practice to ensure all people are treated fairly in the workplace and in society. We are the future of the world, we need to be the change we want to see in that world!

As I look toward the next decade, I am hopeful for a more open and inclusive society, where every person can bring their authentic selves into everything they do. Where diverse views and opinions will be respected and embraced. Where those diverse viewpoints help shape workplaces that are more productive and profitable. In fact, research has shown that diverse teams generate 15% more profitability than homogeneous teams.**

The 1920’s were time of economic expansion and great societal changes including the large-scale adaptation of cars, telephones, with accelerated consumer demand and aspirations, women’s suffrage, the age of jazz and flappers. Let’s embrace this new decade with the same optimism and ingenuity that people had in 1920 and couple that with love and respect for all, as we move into the 2020’s.

*Source: Legalmomentum; Institute for Women’s Policy Research; US Census Data**Source: https://hbr.org/2016/11/why-diverse-teams-are-smarter

Do you ever set goals for yourself with the best intentions, only to fall short? I have done this in my personal life from fitness goals to savings goals, and yes, even this blog.

I set out in January to write once a month about my experiences as a young leader, it is now October, and this will be my 6^th post. 60% is not even passing!!

I find it interesting when it comes to goal achievement, my personal goals are easy to put off, push back and eventually leave behind. When it comes to professional goals, this never happens. I work harder, change strategies, get creative and make sure I can achieve my professional goals. I wonder what it is about my psyche that allows for personal goals to not be achieved, but will do everything in my power to make sure professional goals are?

As I think about it, it comes down to accountability. In work, there is someone to hold me accountable. If I don’t achieve my goals, it means others aren’t achieving theirs. I’m not leading, helping and working with my team to achieve success, so I don’t let this happen. I also have a board of directors that I report to. I don’t like to fail, and therefore will work hard to ensure I don’t have to report the inability to achieve goals.

Personally, that accountability is much harder. I don’t have someone asking me if I wrote on my blog this month. I don’t have people forcing me to go the gym or to save more for retirement instead of going on a trip (though there is value in travel, but that’s for another post). It’s definitely harder to achieve those personal goals without accountability.

Recently, I have working to find that within. Forcing myself to do things when I don’t want to. From walking my dog in the evenings, to being more conscientious of what I eat, to looking at my spending and determining what to cut that isn’t important, so I still can do the things that are important.

Writing here is my next step in this process. I know I don’t have many people reading, but it’s not all for the reader. Part of it is for me as form of journaling and retroactive analysis. It’s a way to get my thoughts on “paper” and hopefully show others they are not alone in their leadership journey. We all have those things we want to do better and work we want to do on ourselves. As I work to put focus into personal accountability, I hope you will join me in the quiet struggle toward self-improvement.

When going through my grandparent’s house after they had both passed away, my family found a letter my grandmother wrote to my grandfather many years ago. My grandmother ended the letter with the phrase, Lots of Love and Luck. At the time she wrote the letter, she had 4 children under the age of 5, my grandfather was away for a period of time, and she was wishing him Luck 🙂

Since reading my grandmother’s words, I reflected on them often. I have noticed so many times in my life where Love and Luck were present.

I write this 20 years after I was in a serious rollover car accident. I was 16, it was mid-day and I was driving home from working cows that morning because I had to go to my part-time job at the local video rental store (yes those were a thing then) that evening.

My brain has decided to protect me from the memory so I don’t know exactly what happened that day. I was left with a compound fracture of my left elbow, 5 broken vertebrae in my back, several bruised internal organs and lots of cuts and scrapes.

I will deal with pain and other issues with my back for the rest of my life, but I am immeasurably Lucky. I have nearly full use of my arm, I wasn’t paralyzed from the rib cage down and of course, I’m alive. So much could have happened that these things wouldn’t be true.

I was Lucky to have an incredible team of doctors and physical therapists to put me back together and make me fight through the pain to ensure a normal, active life.

I was (and am) Lucky to be Loved. I have parents that supported me through the hospital stay and surgeries and Loved me enough to push me hard in recovery. We were surrounded by extended family that helped my parents and brother while I was in the hospital, and after. We had friends that came to visit and helped take my mind off what happened.

I am forever appreciative of the Love I was shown and the Luck I had on that day.  

I think, even in our professional lives Love and Luck play a role. I don’t mean luck in the sense that people are Lucky to get promotions or find success. Almost always that comes from a lot of hard-work. I mean Luck in the sense of working at an organization that you like or in an industry that aligns with your values and provides a good life for you and your family. Love is to be surrounded by the family you were born into, or that you chose or both. Those people that support you and your goals and work to build you up and cheer for your success.

In the words of my grandmother, I wish you Lots of Love and Luck!

I recently attended the Mountain West Credit Union Association Annual Meeting and Convention. At this convention, I work with other Young Professionals from the Mountain West region to engage the next generation of credit union leaders.

This is a convention I have been attending for years, but this year, I noticed something different. As I worked with the Mountain West Young Credit Union Professionals (MWYCUP) Committee, our facilitator Dr. Brandi Stankovic, special guest Paul Norgrove from Police Credit Union in the UK, all the Young Professional Track participants and the other attendees, I realized something that I have felt but not acknowledged before in this setting, I was Thankful!

I was thankful to work in a movement that puts people before profit.

I was thankful to work in a movement that spans the globe and provides opportunity to learn and engage on a global scale.

I was thankful to work on the MWYCUP Committee with intelligent, driven and kind people that I also call friends.

I was thankful to see my peers and colleagues from across the region embrace the principles of diversity and inclusion to build the strongest teams possible.

These things that I am thankful for are big things, and they are important, but it got me thinking about the everyday. How often did feel thankful for the everyday things in my life? If I do feel thankful, was I expressing it to myself, my friends, my family and my team?

I realized the answer was too often no. I spend more time focusing on what I need to do or what can be improved. I don’t take time to celebrate successes and be thankful. I noticed, when I feel pressure to accomplish several tasks is when I revert to that base-self and plow through what needs to get done, without a lot of regard to those around me.  

I had the opportunity to give a toast at closing reception of the convention. I used this time to express how thankful I was for the big things happening in the credit union movement. As I left the convention, I made a personal goal to acknowledge the things I am thankful for in my life. Celebrate success more and make sure people know that I appreciate the work they do and I am thankful for their contributions. This small piece of self-awareness has made me see many things in my life that I have been taking for granted. I am resolved to acknowledge the things in life I am thankful for and make sure those around me know how much I value them. I hope you’ll join me!

I spent some time recently with a mentor and friend. During out time together, I was reminded of one of the first lessons in leadership I ever received, focus inward.

I remember very clearly the conversation she, my supervisor and mentor at the time, now mentor and friend, had with me. There was a lot of interpersonal issues “drama” happening in the organization and I was right in the middle of it. In fact, I was probably seen as the leader since I was the most vocal with credit union management. I was frustrated with all of it and venting to her, she asked me a few questions; Does this impact me? If so, to what degree? If I want to see change, how do I want to communicate with leadership and then how will I affect the I want to see? If it doesn’t affect me, why am I involved?

These questions helped me see that I was focusing outward. I was more concerned with what others were doing, or not doing, instead on what I should have been doing. Additionally, as an outspoken person, I took it upon myself to take sides and advocate for my friends and coworkers on issues of little to no importance.

I stopped participating in the work place drama. I let the conversations die at my desk. Instead of agreeing or disagreeing, I just told them to talk with their supervisor if they felt like something should be done.

This simple act changed so much! Without me as a participant and vocal advocate, a lot of the workplace drama stopped, we worked better together and accomplished more.  For me, my reputation with my supervisor and other credit union leaders improved and therefore I was able to learn more and build my career faster and with greater success.

Now, as a leader myself, I see it happen often where people focus outward and are more concerned with what others are getting that they aren’t, or what others are doing or not doing and management’s response to it. In my experience, these people often think their leaders don’t know they are behind the office drama. Believe me, WE KNOW. We know who working toward the common goals of the organization and who is undermining that work by focusing on the small things and creating issues where none existed before.

I think it’s part of human nature to focus outward, to overcome that, here is my advice; don’t focus on others, be aware when you are focusing outward and ask yourself the questions above, make sure your work is the best it can be and then ask to learn more, build a team of peers and supervisors to help achieve your goals, their goals and the organization’s goals.

Lastly, find mentors that can help you grow your EQ as much as your IQ. I have been fortunate in my career to have several mentors that have helped me do just that. I lean on them often, and I never turn down an opportunity to add to that group.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the happenings in our lives. As the conversation went on, I realized, we weren’t just talking about what we were doing, but were actively trying to “out-busy” the other. I pointed this out to my friend, we had a good laugh about and we moved the conversation on to something else, but it made me think, when did being busy become a competition?

Since that conversation, I have noticed this tendency to “out-busy” one another in other friends, co-workers and peers. I’ve noticed, people that consistently talk about how busy they are or keep directing a conversation back to all of the things they are doing, that they’re generally using busy 2 ways; either be a victim of the busy, or as a status symbol.

What I mean by being a victim, is that the person uses the term “busy” and describes all the pieces in their lives in a way that feels negative. I view this as a way to have others feel sorry for them and as a way to bring attention to themselves. It’s also a passive-aggressive way to communicate that they feel they are doing more, or working harder than those around them.

When busy is used as status symbol, these people are also using busy to bring attention to themselves but also to say they have more going on, are more important or are functioning at a higher level than others. I think, it is basically a way of putting others down and making themselves look important or instead of talking about their new Rolex watch or a Cadillac or McMansion, they are talking about how busy they are.

Since I noticed this busy competition, I have stopped participating. My standard response when someone asked me how I’m doing used to be “Busy but good”, now my response is “Really Good, how about you?” When I get into conversations where others are talking about how “busy” they are, I take the conversation to more important things like what’s happening in our community or the country or how their kids, dogs, spouse are doing.

Here is what I’ve noticed

I am calmer and more focused. Since I am longer focusing on being busy, I can done what needs done. My conversations with others are more personal and engaging rather than a laundry list of all things we are all doing. And most important, I don’t care if other think I’m busy or not, which has cut out any of the busy-for-the-sake-of-being-busy that I was doing before.

Final Thoughts

We are all busy, it’s not a competition, it’s life. I want to live this life to fullest and have real connections with those around me. I encourage you to stop telling others how busy you are, feeling stressed about being busy, using your busy to have status over others or complain about all you are doing. Instead, work your to do lists, engage with people and things that matter and don’t participate in the competition of busy.

This is a question I hope most leaders ask themselves. It is one I ask myself often, and they answer is always YES!

As leaders, we get sometimes get wrapped up in our daily work, even if that work is strategic in nature, we don’t put enough focus on how our interactions influence others. It is sometimes easier to complete a task ourselves rather than coach others through that task. It is easier and faster to answer a questions directly, rather than take the time to work the person asking to question through the situation to help them understand, and then usually to answer their own question.

As a concrete, sequential thinker, a Capricorn and any other excuse I may have, coaching is not something that comes natural for me. I like to get things done quickly, efficiently and with as little “hassle” as possible.

I have learned, what I once thought of as “hassle” was, in fact, building engagement with and the loyalty of my team. It was teaching and leading. It was coaching.

I realized, I wanted to be a leader that helped, trained, taught and built others up, I didn’t simply want to get the work done. As began my journey to be a better coach, I researched, read and talked with other leaders about how to coach. I worked with an executive coach and spent a lot of time in self-reflection. I improved as a coach, but still have a long way to go to be the coach I really want to be.

In late 2018, I was fortunate enough to participate in the World Council of Credit Union’s eCOACH Session.

Over the course of 8 weeks, my cohort and I participated in webinars, participated in discussion forums and practiced what we were learning.  The ideas introduced, reinforced prior training I have, but also provided a framework to guide me through conversations with my team. The guides and models taught in the course now serve as concrete reminders on how to have coaching conversations, direct conversations and how to better build a coaching culture.

I have tied coaching to leading because it is an integral part of leadership. However, being a good coach isn’t only important for people that have a leadership position in their organization, but for anyone that is in a position to teach and train others. Learning how to coach is an important first step, however, simply learning the skill isn’t enough. The skill must be honed. eCOACH helps set the stage for this through practice with other members of the cohort in final weeks of the session, however, you must continue this practice with your team. It’s not always smooth, it’s not always comfortable, but with practice, it gets better. The old adage the practice makes perfect, may not apply here as practice will make you better but you can always grow and evolve as a leader and a coach.