When Did Busy Become a Competition?

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the happenings in our lives. As the conversation went on, I realized, we weren’t just talking about what we were doing, but were actively trying to “out-busy” the other. I pointed this out to my friend, we had a good laugh about and we moved the conversation on to something else, but it made me think, when did being busy become a competition?

Since that conversation, I have noticed this tendency to “out-busy” one another in other friends, co-workers and peers. I’ve noticed, people that consistently talk about how busy they are or keep directing a conversation back to all of the things they are doing, that they’re generally using busy 2 ways; either be a victim of the busy, or as a status symbol.

What I mean by being a victim, is that the person uses the term “busy” and describes all the pieces in their lives in a way that feels negative. I view this as a way to have others feel sorry for them and as a way to bring attention to themselves. It’s also a passive-aggressive way to communicate that they feel they are doing more, or working harder than those around them.

When busy is used as status symbol, these people are also using busy to bring attention to themselves but also to say they have more going on, are more important or are functioning at a higher level than others. I think, it is basically a way of putting others down and making themselves look important or instead of talking about their new Rolex watch or a Cadillac or McMansion, they are talking about how busy they are.

Since I noticed this busy competition, I have stopped participating. My standard response when someone asked me how I’m doing used to be “Busy but good”, now my response is “Really Good, how about you?” When I get into conversations where others are talking about how “busy” they are, I take the conversation to more important things like what’s happening in our community or the country or how their kids, dogs, spouse are doing.

Here is what I’ve noticed

I am calmer and more focused. Since I am longer focusing on being busy, I can done what needs done. My conversations with others are more personal and engaging rather than a laundry list of all things we are all doing. And most important, I don’t care if other think I’m busy or not, which has cut out any of the busy-for-the-sake-of-being-busy that I was doing before.

Final Thoughts

We are all busy, it’s not a competition, it’s life. I want to live this life to fullest and have real connections with those around me. I encourage you to stop telling others how busy you are, feeling stressed about being busy, using your busy to have status over others or complain about all you are doing. Instead, work your to do lists, engage with people and things that matter and don’t participate in the competition of busy.