Focus Inward

I spent some time recently with a mentor and friend. During out time together, I was reminded of one of the first lessons in leadership I ever received, focus inward.

I remember very clearly the conversation she, my supervisor and mentor at the time, now mentor and friend, had with me. There was a lot of interpersonal issues “drama” happening in the organization and I was right in the middle of it. In fact, I was probably seen as the leader since I was the most vocal with credit union management. I was frustrated with all of it and venting to her, she asked me a few questions; Does this impact me? If so, to what degree? If I want to see change, how do I want to communicate with leadership and then how will I affect the I want to see? If it doesn’t affect me, why am I involved?

These questions helped me see that I was focusing outward. I was more concerned with what others were doing, or not doing, instead on what I should have been doing. Additionally, as an outspoken person, I took it upon myself to take sides and advocate for my friends and coworkers on issues of little to no importance.

I stopped participating in the work place drama. I let the conversations die at my desk. Instead of agreeing or disagreeing, I just told them to talk with their supervisor if they felt like something should be done.

This simple act changed so much! Without me as a participant and vocal advocate, a lot of the workplace drama stopped, we worked better together and accomplished more.  For me, my reputation with my supervisor and other credit union leaders improved and therefore I was able to learn more and build my career faster and with greater success.

Now, as a leader myself, I see it happen often where people focus outward and are more concerned with what others are getting that they aren’t, or what others are doing or not doing and management’s response to it. In my experience, these people often think their leaders don’t know they are behind the office drama. Believe me, WE KNOW. We know who working toward the common goals of the organization and who is undermining that work by focusing on the small things and creating issues where none existed before.

I think it’s part of human nature to focus outward, to overcome that, here is my advice; don’t focus on others, be aware when you are focusing outward and ask yourself the questions above, make sure your work is the best it can be and then ask to learn more, build a team of peers and supervisors to help achieve your goals, their goals and the organization’s goals.

Lastly, find mentors that can help you grow your EQ as much as your IQ. I have been fortunate in my career to have several mentors that have helped me do just that. I lean on them often, and I never turn down an opportunity to add to that group.